Missing Minnesota

The Weatherman. May 2. MINNESOTA

The Weatherman. May 2. MINNESOTA

Minnesota, hail to thee!
Hail to thee, our state so dear,
Thy light shall ever be
A beacon bright and clear.
Thy son and daughters true
Will proclaim thee near and far,
They shall guard thy fame and adore thy name;
Thou shalt be their Northern Star.

 Like the stream that bends to sea,
Like the pine that seeks the blue;
Minnesota, still for thee
Thy sons are strong and true.
From the woods and waters fair;
From the prairies waving far,
At thy call they throng with their shout and song;
Hailing thee their Northern Star.

 In Minnesota, if the announcement were made that a giant meteor was crashing into earth tomorrow, the first words out of our mouths would nevertheless be, “What do you think of this snow, Otis?” “Well, Frank, I heard it was going to stop about three, then we’ll just have to wait for the snowplow.” “Mildred, can you give me a little more cream for this coffee? What’d you do…cook it all night?” “Yeah, had to sleep here you know, couldn’t get home on these roads.” “Hey, you hear about that meteor? Guess it’s all over for us tomorrow. Well at least the snow’ll have stopped by then so we can see the darn thing coming.”


Today, May 2: Achilles is bringing rain to Texas and snow, big snow, lots of snow to southern Minnesota. Thirteen inches in Red Wing. The point of this is…I love Minnesota. It’s a distinct place on the map…with more jokes about it than, say Iowa or South Dakota…and we are better known for our weather than anyplace else! Really. You know that’s true. International Falls, the icebox of the nation (it is unfortunate no one knows what an icebox is anymore…the saying loses its impact if you have to explain that an icebox was a pre-electric refrigerator that depended on large blocks of ice delivered by an iceman to keep food cold—just so you know this was before my time but not so long before that I don’t know about them!). Movies about ice fishing are all shot in Minnesota on Mille Lacs Lake (or should be if they’re not).

As you may have guessed I am quite lonesome for home today. Oh sure, everyone up there is complaining bitterly now as Achilles brings yet one more damn snowstorm. But secretly we are all proud of how tough we are (were in my case) and because so many of us are naturally gloomy, reserved Scandinavians the weather is practically the only thing about which we feel free to be dramatic.

On the other hand…here in New Mexico it is another sunny day…one out of 359 sunny days in the year. Yawn. Seriously, it is so very boring! Although once in awhile a dust storm enlivens things.


I think I’ll pretend I’m back home, getting ready to head out to the store now that the snow has almost stopped. Getting dressed…shorts, sweater, parka, Sorels, knee high woolen socks…grab the snow shovel and the windshield scraper. It is true. Real Minnesotans wear shorts from March until mid-December to prove we are not wimps. We are Minnesotans.


About mneset

Writer, Traveler, Director/North Fourth Art Center

Posted on May 2, 2013, in Living LIFE. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Funny, Marjorie. I really got the feel of those “characters” This is how Garrison Keeler would do it or does everybody there talk like this?. Quite frankly, I am over snow. I guess that make me an old person…but not old enough to want to move to Florida. I don’t want to live where people think like they do…and you know what I mean. And besides it is full of old people…I don’t want to be one of them. I hope that one day I can trade Delaware for New Mexico, at least for a while. I did not mind at all it was sunny all the time. Just like I did not miss trees when I lived there. It was a good fit for me. However, I would on occasion like a bit of snow, but not much. Remember when I visited and we came back through Jemez and it was snowing. That is enough snow and then drive out of it


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